Thursday, August 19, 2010

love sick

Can I just say that I am love sick for my family? Eric and Lucas are my life. The first 25 years of my life were spent preparing me for the day I would marry Eric. And the first 28 years of my life prepared me for the day Lucas would come into our lives. and the same goes for Eric. Since the day these two amazing men entered my life I have been forever changed. Forever. My vows come to mind: for better/worse, through good/bad and health/sickness. We are partners for life. Best friends. Soul mates. And Lucas is a product of this love. When I look at Lucas my heart beams with love, pride, joy, happiness and awe. I see his past, present and future. Well, maybe I cant see his future but I long to learn how his life will unfold and what his personality will be like. Will he always be such a happy and good natured person? Will he have a temper? will he do well in school? will he make friends easily? Will he be quick witted? Will he have a good conscience? Ok, some some of this will be determined by his upbringing and some of it will be genetics. But I can't wait to see the man he will become.

Bottom line is I adore my family and I would be devastated, as any good/normal wife and mother would be. why do I say it like that? b/c my heart broke yesterday when I read a story about a SC mother killing her own children. I read the article and tears filled my eyes. All i could think was "why?" and "how could someone do this?" As much as I love my own does every parent not feel this way? Why do some parents kill their children when other couples would practically kill just to conceive or to have their child back who passed away?? this world is so unjust. I wish there was a test to determine who would be good parents and only those people be allowed to procreate. Doesnt that sound good? am I being too harsh?

Ever since I became a mom my view of life and everything in general changed. Instantaneously. I cant not think like a parent anymore. I can still think like a daughter/wife/person in general but I cant turn off mom-mode. And my mom-mode is on over-drive. I have become SUPER sensetive to anything that has to do with children being in danger or mistreated. Before Lucas, it would sadden me to hear stories but now....I guess because I think about Lucas when I read the stories...I get so distraught by it. Is this normal? Does anyone feel this way?


Rachael said...

Yes. I had to pull over in the car when I heard that story. Twice. The details were to much. I can't take my mind there to think like them. It's so sad

Megan said...

no, we'll never be able to get in that mindset. But I wish everyone has our mind sets. the world would certainly be a better place.